By Boomerang Banda
Even the Gates of Hell will not defy us, said an official of the CMR, Canada by location, multicultural by name and radio by activity.In real it is none of these in spirit, integrity and purpose.
It is a lottery kind of fortune that came from a Mango Swamy alias
Chembattan Swamy from funds wrenched out of people by the World Tamil
Movement (WTM) and passed on to his brother who claims legitimate
Saturday November 26 CMR made history by broadcasting to the regions under the control of Lord Yama. Unlike the Democratic Eelam State governments, two already non-existingly existing and many more such to follow, the underworld realms of Lord Yama exists but invisible but Eelam states are visible but non-existing.
When a CMR official was asked as to how on earth one should reconcile with such incredible impossibilities, he firmly said that when the Great Beloved Leader says whether from Wilpattu or Hell, it is not for us to ask why but - you know what - do or die, more the latter if your views conflict with that of, well you know who.
Then he took this writer aside and whispered: “In the name of our Great Beloved Leader we made our millions and even now the going is good and that is why we are having a birthday party to enable our people to communicate with him in Hell.
So that is why CMR had a line of people queuing up Saturday morning to wish the Great Beloved Leader Happy Birthday and bless him with long life.
Said the CMR CEO, Hell is now well within our reach but as for Heaven we were hopeful Father Francis Xavier would make that possible one day but he has let us down badly. Well, he may yet want to make up with our Great Beloved Leader and opt for Hell.
“Unlike TamilNet whose policy is to give out numbers favourable to the LTTE by adding three Zeroes, I can tell you,” said the CMR CEO who bears the name of a saint, “1243 people wished our Great Beloved Leader Happy Birthday and long life and we permitted only one member per family.”
Birthday gifts were strictly restricted to cash to facilitate movement through the underworld.
Based on the tremendous success of the birthday party, the CMR is already planning a ten-day festival next year, a day per country when our Great Beloved Leader will be acclaimed as King in Perpetuity.
Norwegian minister Eric Solheim has been suggested to open the party and he will feed Navaneetham Pillai with the first piece of cake. CMR, it is understood has engaged an expert to ensure a video transmission from Hell
“Nothing is impossible for us,” said the CMR CEO, “that is why we are a billionaire company and all built without a single cent from our pocket,” He was indeed proud of his achievement. As a final act he looked up to the heavens and said, “Thank you Mambalam.” And we heard a voice from below: “Don’t look up for me. I am down here and Zoo-Pah is my cage mate.”